TUESDAY, AUGUST 17, 2021
Miracle Mum, Hazel welcomed son Benji at 25 weeks, weighing 550g. Benji spent 150 days in the NICU at Randwick.
When Benji turned one, grateful mother Hazel, wrote a beautiful and moving poem to capture their journey. She shares it with other families travelling this difficult road.
A poem by Hazel Vinitha for Baby Benjamin
It’s no longer safe, the day has arrived
For a baby boy to be born.
Mother on the recovery table scared and covered in blood, alone and in pain wondering if is he alive?
Fear is over the roof, if he is alive, will he survive?
The baby is rushed into Neonatal Intensive care unit.
Mother and baby instantly separated but rest assured connected by heart.
Your breasts are sore, but you have no baby to nurse.
You stand on the outside as the scene flashes by.
You pray, don’t let him die.
Tubes and machines keep him alive,
You pray for a miracle, let him survive.
The doctors tell you, prepare for the worst.
He is far too small, there’s only so much to do.
We provide what we can, and the rest is up to him to prove.
You search for some hope and a mother’s heart will never give up.
You speak life into him and speak words of victory and courage.
For the first time you put your hands in to the incubators window - you don’t know where to touch.
He is so little, and he’s all covered with tubes and wires.
You feel the tiny bit of his skin that is barely exposed.
He is almost transparent; you can see some of his inside bits.
But clever little thing, he knows you’re around and grabs your finger and he won’t let go.
Your life becomes the monitor, you watch every beat and react to every beep.
You watch every breath; you don’t leave your seat.
You don’t leave his side, he is your blood and suddenly becomes your life.
A father’s pain is hard, and emotions are high but well controlled.
On the other hand, the mother lays broken, and tears flow like a dam that has no control.
Her dream has been robbed and never to return.
Her only life’s wish is to hold her new baby boy.
As night starts to deepen you start to reflect.
You start to question what to expect.
You try to reason; you try to make sense.
You feel joy, yet your pain is intense.
The longest day in history draws to a close.
The day that stood still, the day where time froze.
Hours become days and days become weeks.
Weeks become months, with lots of falls and barely any peaks.
The road is long, the journey is hard.
The climb is tough, but you keep pushing on.
Your family and friends are there, you’re not alone but somehow loneliness is all you know.
NICU becomes your new home and nurses, doctors and staff become your new friends.
How can one so little be so tough and brave?
And defy all the odds that once looked so grey?
A heart the size of a raspberry in a body built so small
He took on every challenge and answered every call.
Sometimes, when he is asleep, I sit there at his side
And appreciate every second and watch him with such pride.
Some angels stay there forever, and never to return
But we are the blessed ones, our baby boy is here.
We will forever be proud for surviving against all odds.
The smallest human you have ever seen
So tough, so strong, courage unseen.
His battle is still hard, but he is here and that’s all that matters
And it’s just the beginning and this journey will never end.
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