Miracle Mum, Jessica remembers how Romeo's early arrival felt like she was living in a movie or a dream and she just wanted to wake up.
"My very own superhero was born at 30 weeks, weighing 1.3kg!
I never felt pregnant - I always had something in my gut telling me that there was something different. I remember taking my almost 2-year-old daughter to my obstetrician appointment promising her we will see her baby brother or sister then go straight to story time; well that day and the next couple of months definitely did not go to plan!
At the scan I was told to go straight to the hospital because my blood pressure was way too high! I had heard of pre-eclampsia but never in a million years thought that this was my future journey. It all happened so fast and I remember being in a room thinking “please wake up, if this isn’t a dream please, please, please keep my baby safe”.
The next 10 days was indescribable. Having to say goodbye to my baby girl, watching her from the window crying, wanting her mummy - every single day it was the same, but I had to stay healthy to get my unborn baby in my arms safely.
It was 5:40am, I woke up to that same gut feeling and knew I wasn't going to get to the planned 34 weeks. I woke up before 6am rounds, somehow got myself up, took deep breaths and said out loud “this is my promise, you keep me & especially my baby safe & I promise for the rest of my life I will give back to the families who are in my exact shoes”.
Then it all happened again, all blurry, like a movie. My second emergency C-section - but this one I was awake and I vomited the entire time. I just remember my partner saying “look up, look up”, and I saw my baby, but he was quickly taken away and I was so exhausted I fell asleep on the table.
The next hardest part was being on oxygen for 24 hours and not knowing his smell, and not being able to whisper 'it’s ok, mummy’s got you'. Then I had to also sign to have donor milk (for a mum that’s so incredibly hard), but it wasn’t about me it was about what was best for my son.
What a ride - having the C-section, leaving the hospital without my baby, making sure I got back to the hospital to see him every day, to touch him, hoping it was the right time for a cuddle, being there for my now 2-year-old old daughter, and taking care of my own health. I was living in this bubble that I managed to find the strength to get on with it all. I also had unbelievable support around me and I was not letting this get the better of me!
I was so nervous being with Romeo the first night before taking him home. Like a first time mum, I remember begging my partner not to leave me alone with him, he was so tiny, what if I couldn't calm him down? What if he didn’t want me but wanted one of the nurses? We survived it though and by 11am I was home with him. From that moment I didn’t let him go, both Aria & Romeo were in my arms and I wasn’t letting them go, I had my babies where they needed to be in my arms with their mummy!
When I was leaving the hospital I saw a lady who had just had her baby and was told she would be going home but her baby had to stay; she was sobbing. I remember walking up to a complete stranger and giving her a hug and saying “you’ve got this, I promise you, you have got this!”
Now, Romeo is one and he is the ultimate super hero! He's the happiest little boy, and is so affectionate & loveable! Our bond is stronger than ever and he is the love of our lives, along with his sister.
This journey taught me so much as a person and especially as a mother! Babies are so resilient but yes it was tough, I use to cry into a towel in the shower at night, but I had a mother’s love, determination and strength on my side, that meant coming out on top was the only option!
Just remember to any mother reading this “you’ve got this” - at times it will be so tough and really s**t but you need to be healthy and okay for your baby to get through it! They will always need their mama!"
Thank you Jessica for sharing.
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