Wishing our Miracle Mums a special Mother’s Day!

Today is Mother's Day and is a day to celebrate the mothers and special women in our lives.

Having a baby born premature or sick can be an emotional rollercoaster and as your baby remains in hospital for weeks or months, it is common for parents to feel a range of complex emotions.

At different times parents may experience a combination of powerful feelings, such as fear, guilt, anxiety, isolation, sadness, anger, confusion, and disappointment. These are all natural responses to what is a very emotional and stressful time in your life. It is normal to grieve the loss of your dream of a normal pregnancy and all the experiences you were anticipating.

Babies can spend weeks or months in the Neonatal Unit and spending special occasions in hospital, rather than at home together, can be difficult for the entire family.

Sadly, thousands of mothers will only see their baby in hospital on Mother’s Day, and for these mothers it can be a confusing and overwhelming time. Miracle Babies aims to highlight and celebrate the exceptional journey of these mothers, their strength, resilience, and unconditional love for their baby as they continue to fight. It is normal for parents to feel a sense of loss for what ‘should have been’.

There are a few ways that you can do to wish a mother spending Mother's Day in the Neonatal unit:

1. Send her flowers. Many mothers with a baby in the Neonatal unit will spend every waking minute at their bedside and the whole day will pass without them being recognised at all. A small gesture will be appreciated.

2. Give her a meal. If you know a mum spending her Mother's Day in the hospital with her baby, stop by and drop off a meal. She will appreciate the thought of you stopping by and that you cared for her on a special day.

3. Give her a crafty gift. Many mothers cannot even hold their baby for over a month due to their fragile state, so mums just sit and stare at an isolette for hours on end and wait for the opportunity to help change a diaper or take a temperature- so that they feel like they are mothering their babies. Giving a crafty gift is a way to keep her occupied during these difficult times.

4. Offer to help. Why not offer to run an errand for mum? Maybe she has no time to go food shopping or get Mother's Day gifts for her own mother. Offer to run some errands and help if you have some time, or even ask for the mum along for some social time.

5. Last, but most important -- wish her a Happy Mother's Day. Many babies who are in the Neonatal unit are so critically ill and don't have a great prognosis, and this causes friends and family to avoid contact with the mother of the baby because they just don't know what to say. It's important to reach out during this difficult time and especially during an important day.

Degl, J. (2017, December 7). 5 Ways to brighten a NICU Mum’s Mother’s Day. HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/5-ways-to-brighten-a-nicu-moms-mothers-day

As we celebrate all new mothers, we also recognise the difficult journey of those mothers who have sadly lost their baby.

As a small gesture of hope and reassurance, and also a special acknowledgement of the journey that these mums face, each year Miracle Babies Foundation provides Mother’s Day gifts to mothers right across the country in the Neonatal Unit.

We also celebrate the big milestones that some mothers have been waiting for, and for some families will receive the best gift of all, bringing their baby home on Mother’s Day.

This year, Jill Cook, who facilitates our Miracle Babies Gold Coast NurtureGroup, shared her experience spending Mother's Day in the Neonatal unit. We asked her a few questions and this is what she had to say.

Can you share a little about your NICU/SCN experience?

My twins were born 36 weeks by c- section on the 1st May. Both boys were rushed off to NICU for assistance with breathing and Theo was in NICU a bit longer as he was born 1 kg smaller then Ezra. I had some medical issues after the birth of post pre-eclampsia with very high blood pressures so I didn't get to even see the boys for like 12 hours later when the hospital staff wheeled me into the NICU to see them before going back to my room to recover. I was discharged from hospital after about a week and used to make the trip up daily and drop off milk and see them. It was a bit of a juggle as I still had Vinnie at home but thankfully had an amazing support system that helped us with everything. I ended up getting admitted back into hospital a week later as my blood pressure was still not under control but it ended up working out well for me as I could easily see the babies any time I wanted and was made to rest and recover which would have been difficult at home. I was discharged on the day the boys reunited in the same crib in special care which made me feel so much better leaving the hospital knowing that. The rest of the time was just a bit of a blur of visits, pumping milk for them and kangaroo cuddles. After 21 days they were discharged and then family life of 5 really began and it didn't take long to get our groove.

What were some of the highlights and toughest moments of your journey?

Photo when Jill and her family, who spent her First Mother's Day in the Neonatal unit.

The twin journey is a wild ride from the moment you find out, with many scans and monitoring throughout the whole pregnancy. We were involved in twin support groups, which prepared us that there was a reasonably high chance that they will end in special care. We were open to all possibilities and would work through it all no matter what happened. I think it was all a bit of a difficult time for me as I hadn't really even looked at the pictures or done much processing of that time, I was just too busy and kinda blocked it. Now my boys are 7 and that feels like a lifetime ago, I have the headspace to revisit those memories. As far as best bits there are too many to even count, I guess as soon as the boys were home things just fell into place, and we have been a strong-united family ever since. My boys are my greatest gift and joy in my life.

How did it feel spending your first Mother’s Day in the hospital?

I actually had a really lovely day and remember just feeling so grateful. I was really spoilt with flowers and chocolates at home, but when we came up to the hospital the staff had gone above and beyond to make it special for us. I was given this big gift bag of goodies, the nurses had made these gorgeous little feet stamp card, the boys had just been given little mater miracle dog teddies from the mascot that had come around to visit everyone. I think they even had volunteer people coming around and gave you a foot or hand massage if you wanted it. We also got our first family photo of the 5 of us. It was a special day.

What words of encouragement do you have for parents spending Mother’s Day in the NICU?

Try and find as much good in the day as you can, and remember all the wins you have had along the way. This is just the first of many mother's days ahead, which will look very different in the future. Take that time to celebrate you and the journey that is motherhood, what ever it looks like.

Thank you, Jill for sharing your story.

We hope that all Miracle Mums across Australia have a special Mother’s Day! ♥