Relationship Building Ability & Sustainability

Evidence  

Social Cognition in Children Born Preterm: A Perspective on Future Research Directions 

Zmyj N, Witt S, Weitkämper A, Neumann H and Lücke T 

Abstract: Preterm children’s interaction difficulties are reported to be manifold: A systematic review of 23 studies dealing with social development in children between 0 and 17 years of age revealed 16 out of 21 studies reporting more peer problems and social withdrawal in preterm children compared to full-term children. More specifically, at 2 years of age, children born very preterm already have lower social competence (e.g., listening to parents or playing with other children) and are rated as less socially competent by their parents  

Education 

The toddler years are a special time for building strong and safe relationships. Your child is learning how to connect with others, feel secure and understand that they are loved and cared for. 

Through everyday moments like cuddles, talking, feeding/mealtimes and playing your child learns what it means to feel safe. These early experiences help shape how your child builds relationships as they grow. 

At this age, toddlers are learning to balance closeness and independence. You may notice your child wanting to stay close to you at times and at other times wanting to do things on their own. This is a normal and healthy part of development. 

Your toddler is still learning how to be with others. Social skills take time and your child is practicing every day. You may see your child: 

• Play alongside other children rather than with them 

• Find it hard to share or take turns 

• Show affection with hugs, smiles, or by staying close 

• Become upset when separated from you 

• Watch and copy how others interact 

• Show favouritism or a preference for a parent/caregiver. Please remember that favouritism is a temporary developmental phase, not a personal rejection. It is not a reflection of the relationship you have with your child or a reflection of your parenting. 

• Engage in some ‘sibling rivalry’. Your toddler is still learning how to manage their emotions and what is fair.  

Your child learns a lot by watching you. The way you show kindness, comfort and respect helps your child understand how relationships work. Even small, everyday moments help build trust and connection. 

For children who were born early or have had medical or hospital experiences, relationships may take a little more time to feel safe. They may need extra reassurance in new environments or with new people. This is okay and every child develops at their own pace. 

Empowerment 

Strong relationships are built through simple, everyday moments. These might include playing together, sharing a story, or sitting quietly side by side. These moments help your child feel secure. 

There are many gentle ways you can support your child’s relationship skills: 

• Follow your child’s lead during play to show you value what they are doing 

• Use simple words like “gentle hands” and “taking turns” to guide behaviour. Toddlers might not understand what these words and actions mean, but you can help them start to understand by labelling them.  

• Stay calm and close when your child has big feelings. We often talk about parents being the ‘safe hands’ which means being ‘bigger, stronger, wiser, kind). 

• Offer comfort and reassurance when your child feels unsure. 

• Give your child time to warm up in new social situations. Try not to label them as ‘shy’. Being more wary of new situations is an important part of development.  

When your child feels safe with you, they learn that relationships can be safe with others too. Over time, they begin to build confidence in connecting with people around them. 

If your child finds it hard to separate from you or finds it harder to engage with others, it is important to go at their pace. Staying nearby and offering reassurance helps build trust and confidence over time. 

Seeing family and friends or attending playdates can bring lots of positives to your toddlers understanding about themselves and their relationships with others. At this stage though, toddlers lack advanced social skills and so need support and supervision from parents and carers. Going to the park or having simple task-oriented activities that your child can engage in during playdates can help support positive play interactions.  

For some families, connecting with others who understand your journey can make a big difference. Miracle Babies Foundation NurtureGroups are a free play and support group that offers a safe and welcoming space for children from birth to starting school who have been impacted by a premature or sick birth, time in a neonatal unit, or have ongoing medical challenges. 

NurtureGroups support children to learn and grow through play, while families can connect with others who have had similar experiences. In a safe and inclusive environment, parents and carers can share stories, exchange ideas, and build supportive friendships. This sense of connection can help ease feelings of isolation and strengthen both parent and child relationships. 

Useful Links 

Miracle Babies Foundation 

https://www.miraclebabies.org.au/content/nurturegroup/gk5p54 

Raising Children 

https://raisingchildren.net.au/newborns/development/understanding-development/relationships-development 

Zero to Three 

https://www.zerotothree.org/resource/tips-on-helping-your-child-build-relationships/ 

Magic of Everyday Moments Booklets: How the Brain, Body and Mind Grow from Birth to 3 | ZERO TO THREE 

Tips for Promoting Social-Emotional Development in Infants and Toddlers | ZERO TO THREE

Need support? NurtureConnect allows you to connect with our NurtureProgram support team, or call our 24 hour NurtureLine 1300 622 243 or join our Facebook community.

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