Separation Anxiety 

Evidence  

Separation anxiety 

Piotrowski, Nancy A., PhD;Morgan, George A., PhD;Harmon, Robert J., MD 

Abstract: Separation anxiety is a common emotional response observed in infants and toddlers, characterized by fear or distress when separated from their primary caregiver. Typically, onset between eight and eighteen months, this condition is usually transient and subsides by the age of two to three. 

Education 

What is Separation Anxiety? 

Separation anxiety is when your child feels upset or worried when they are away from you or another trusted caregiver. This is a normal part of development for babies and toddlers. It shows your child has formed a strong and healthy attachment to you.  

Separation anxiety often begins in the first year of life and can be strongest around 12 to 18 months. Many children start to feel more comfortable with separation by around 2 to 3 years of age. 

Signs of Separation Anxiety 

Toddlers may not yet have the words to explain how they feel, so they show it through their behaviour. 

Your child might: 

• Cry or become very upset when you leave 

• Cling to you and not want you to go 

• Have expressions of big feelings at drop-off (daycare or with others) 

• Follow you from room to room or, ask for you to stay in the same room with them whilst they play 

• Have trouble settling to sleep without you 

• Wake during the night looking for you 

• Refuse to be with other people, even familiar ones 

• Complain of tummy aches or feeling unwell before separation 

• Prefer to stay with you during playdates

Toddlers are still learning that the world is safe and that their caregivers will return. They do not yet have a full understanding of time, so “later” or “soon” can feel uncertain and worrying. 

This stage is important for emotional development. It helps your child build strong attachments and, over time, learn independence. Most children will move through this stage with support and reassurance.  

Sometimes, separation anxiety may need extra support if it is very intense, lasts a long time, or begins to affect your child’s daily life. 

Empowerment 

Keeping routines predictable, such as regular drop-off times, meals and sleep, helps your child know what to expect and builds a sense of safety.  

It can help to prepare your child before you leave by talking about what will happen in simple, clear language. Let them know when you will return in a way they can understand, such as “after your nap” or “after playtime.” Keeping goodbyes short, calm and consistent can reduce distress, even though it may feel hard in the moment. 

Comfort items like a favourite toy, blanket, or something that reminds them of you can help your child feel connected when you are apart. Supporting your child to spend small, gradual amounts of time away from you can also build their confidence over time. 

Separation anxiety is usually a normal stage in toddlerhood. You may want to seek support if: 

• Your child’s distress is very intense or lasts a long time 

• They cannot separate from you at all 

• It stops them from attending daycare or activities 

• Sleep is very disrupted over time 

• Their anxiety is not improving as they grow 

• You are struggling to navigate, manage or work through these experiences. 

Speaking with a GP, child health nurse, or early childhood professional can help. 

Useful Links 

Raising Children 

https://raisingchildren.net.au/babies/behaviour/common-concerns/separation-anxiety 

Emerging Minds 

https://emergingminds.com.au/resources/anxiety-in-toddlers-and-preschoolers/ 

Children’s Health Queensland Hospital and Health Service. Helping Your Child: Separation Anxiety 

Helping your child - Separation anxiety 

Circle of Security. Healthy and Secure Transitions: Parents, Children and the Environment 

Healthy and Secure Transitions: Parents, Children and the Environment

Need support? NurtureConnect allows you to connect with our NurtureProgram support team, or call our 24 hour NurtureLine 1300 622 243 or join our Facebook community.

NurtureConnect